My oldest was off to Middle School and my youngest kids were still in Elementary School, but my life hadn’t changed much. My routine was the same as it was the year before minus potential hospital stays. I was still recovering from my BRCA+ journey of multiple surgeries, but the life I had been living was about the same with maybe a little less chaos since the kids were all in school fulltime (Finally! Can I get an Amen?). However, this darkness started to consume me when I wasn’t prepared. I didn’t plan on having to pick a side, but the dark was drowning out the light. I felt lost and didn’t know how to cope. Until an unexpected opportunity came into my life.
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As this years summer winds down, I am in awe at how little we have accomplished this year. We went into the summer with grandiose plans and everyone made a list. Similar to our bucket lists of past summers.
However, we never really focused on checking anything off!
But you want to know what they really gained this summer? It was something I didn’t plan on, but I am so glad I noticed it in action. My Kids Gained Valuable, Real-Life Social Skills.
When my kids were younger, I barely went to the pool because I was a) ashamed of my body (for heaven’s sake I birthed 3 children in the span of five years, that should be celebrated, not shamed by society standards…but that is a different post for a different day) and b) I was outnumbered 3 to 1.
You better believe that I was only going to the pool if another friend was braving it with me or I dragged my husband along.
But that is where looking back, I was so wrong. I should have gone to the damn pool.
Today, I will celebrate the brave mommas everywhere that are doing the hard job. Suiting up and going swimming with their kids.
As she turned away I thought, things will never be like this, again.
I know that growing up is inevitable and I know that there are wonderful opportunities in front of her. Logically, I totally understand that.
But my heart. My heart is not ready to let THIS go.
Have you ever had the problem of having too many options? Having endless opportunities? Having the ability to go in any direction and accomplish any goal? I am talking about both big and small goals. It’s a real problem for me. I know that sounds like I am whining, but it’s really a big deal. And yes, I realize this is a total first world problem, but hear me out because you might see yourself in me.
When I was a kid, I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up.
I had two, very specific dreams.
Our family had a busy Sunday. Our oldest daughter had a rock concert through her local School of Rock. They had an awesome show and she had her best show yet! We were on our way home when our son started complaining of a headache and a sore throat. I had a mean mom moment and told him he couldn’t have a sick day since I had to go into work the next day.
If you walk into my house, you’ll be greeted by a cheerful entryway and a clean and tidy front room and dining room. However, if one were to gaze past the comfy couch, you would find my mess. It’s not always like this, but about every three months or so life just seems to “pile-up” in the form of papers, unfinished projects, art supplies, books, teaching materials, bills and receipts to file, notes, my kids’ school papers, old to-do lists, and remnants of unfinished plans, and more.
Here it is, in all it’s ugly and messy glory…