INSIDE: I share what listening to your heart can teach you about life! But first, you have to be ready to quiet your mind and listen to your heart. {FREE PRINTABLE}

It’s no secret that I have been feeling lost and wayward over the last few months. I have been sorting through the beautiful mess of life to rediscover my purpose and find my truth.

It helps me to know that I am not the only one feeling this way. Maybe that helps you, too. So, today, I want to share what I have learned on my path to rediscovery.

Self-Reflection-

Over the last month, I went a little “dark” and focused on myself a lot more than usual. I signed up for a personal development e-course, participated in Twitter chats, read books & articles, only checked email once a day, and thought.

I did a lot of thinking.

Reflecting on the path of my “crazy, busy” life over the last several years really helped put things in perspective. I asked myself a few questions.

Why am I so busy? Do I like being this busy? Am I busy because I love everything I am doing or because I am afraid of letting others down? What would I take away from my busy life?  What would I do if I could do anything and nothing stood in my way?

And then I did a lot of listening. Not listening to people, but to myself, my heart especially.

How do I come to terms with my answers?

That was a big one. I had to do lots of listening for that.

Coming to terms with fears and figuring out how to face them is one of the most challenging quests in a lifetime, in my opinion.

Waiting for an Answer-

I wrote, sketched, prayed, and hoped for answers from within.

And I sat.

I sat quietly waiting.

I listened to my inner dialogue.

Listening to thoughts that never rose up to my lips. Thoughts I kept hidden, even from myself. Thoughts and feelings I had ignored for seven years.

There were so many feelings and so many signs around me that confirmed what my heart was saying… if only I was brave enough to listen to it.

I only had one last, simple question.

What drives me?

Not What makes me happy? or What inspires me?

I knew those questions were important, too, but knowing what drives me was at the root of all my past decisions and all of my future choices. Knowing that would change the trajectory of my life. I let go and trusted myself.

Somehow, in the chaos of life and the craze of spring, I felt peace. Peace in the knowledge that was inside my heart the whole time. Peace in the calm that comes after the storm. Peace in knowing that I made it through.

I felt like Humpty Dumpty breaking each day until this moment of clarity. Now I feel like my pieces are put back together.

The irony is not escaping me that I am also physically put back together now. After this last reconstruction surgery, I am literally and figuratively whole again.

Maybe that was the piece of the puzzle that was missing, or maybe it was a coincidence…but that is what I write about. A life full of happy accidents that aren’t really accidents at all, but fate.

What I Learned-

Journaling through this process helped me keep some sanity. Sometimes I didn’t write anything, I just drew a sketch or a mind map. Other times it was just a list of words like kids, teach, help, share kindness, volunteer, spread cheer, give back, help others…

With all of it, I could see themes. I am a teacher. Through and through.

Yep, big surprise…

Teaching is what drives me.

Here is what else I learned while reflecting and listening to my heart.

Kids and learning inspire me and that makes me happy.

I am “crazy, busy” because I feel incomplete not teaching and therefore fill my days with teaching or education-based activities.

I am doing these things out of the fear of letting my kids down because I don’t want them to know I miss my old job. (Oh my gosh, that was a big one to write down.)

I don’t want to take anything away from my life, just enhance what I am doing with better purpose and ease. I want to stop fighting myself, and that was the only thing standing in my way. Myself.

Looking back, it seems funny that I would leave my full-time teaching career to drive myself nuts doing all these other small jobs.

However, something wonderful happened while I was driving myself crazy, I somehow managed to raise three absolutely amazing children…this far.

We have laughed, played, made messes, danced in the kitchen, sang songs while drawing with chalk, taken leisurely strolls to the park, made forts on a rainy day, and have loved one another.

 

And I wouldn’t change the magic of that beautiful and crazy life for anything. Well, maybe I’d add a cleaning lady, that might be nice!

Final Thoughts-

You may or may not be going through a self-reflective time in your life right now. But if you’ve made it this far I am either super engaging (hee-hee) or I am betting you are looking for answers on your own journey.

If it’s the latter here is what I leave you with. The answer you are seeking is already inside you. Ask yourself these questions {FREE PRINTABLE} and then give yourself permission to quietly listen to what your heart reveals.

Your heart already knows, you just need to quiet your mind, calm the crazy around you, and peacefully sit and listen. Don’t rush this process. Everything will fall into place. It will feel magical and you might even hear your own triumphant theme song play in your mind. If not, then I guess that was just me!

Today, live unabashed but centered in your love and in your life. LISTEN to your heart. FIND your truth. TRUST your inner voice. LIVE a life worth fighting for and get out of your own way if you are what is holding you back. Be full of wonderful vulnerability today.

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If you are curious, I got out of my own way this week. I stepped out of my comfort zone, updated my resume, and am actively seeking a permanent teaching job. I know, it’s a little bit crazy, but that’s no different than before!

But this, this, is what my heart is telling me to do. Teaching is my truth.

What is yours?

There are no happy accidents.

~Kim

You can check out my other writings on Full Time Mom, 30Seconds, and SheSavvy. You can also follow me on Twitter at @barefoot79 or @nohappyaccident and at Instagram at @nohappyaccidents_kim