Over a year ago, I started my surgery journey based on my risks as defined by my BRCA2 gene mutation. It wasn't an easy set of decisions and the path was most definitely not straight. If you've been following my story, you are painfully aware of the sorrows and setbacks I encountered in the fall of 2016. Since my last update, I have had another round of reconstruction surgery and one scheduled for the fall of 2017. Here is what I have learned, hopefully it helps you or helps you help someone else. Love to all.
It's no secret that I have been feeling lost and wayward over the last few months. I was trying to find myself again. I have been sorting through all the "life clutter" to rediscover my purpose and find my center. Thankfully, I have learned that this phenomenon happens to all of us from time to time, for different reasons. We get a little caught up in moment-to-moment living and forget about the big picture. It helps me to know that I am not the only one feeling this way. Maybe that helps you, too. Today, I want to share with you what I have learned on my path of rediscovery.
Whenever I am feeling lost or in need of direction I do one of three things: call my mom, drink wine with my girlfriends, or go to the library. I needed some insight so a trip to the library was in order! With three kids in tow, we made our rounds through the children's department and finally ended up at the Self-Help shelves for me.
Have you ever had the problem of having too many options? Having endless opportunities? Having the ability to go in any direction and accomplish any goal? I am talking about both big and small goals. It's a real problem for me. I know that sounds like I am whining, but it's really a big deal. And yes, I realize this is a total first world problem, but hear me out because you might see yourself in me. When I was a kid, I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up. I had two, very specific dreams.
Our family had a busy Sunday. Our oldest daughter had a rock concert through her local School of Rock. They had an awesome show and she had her best show yet! We were on our way home when our son started complaining of a headache and a sore throat. I had a mean mom moment and told him he couldn't have a sick day since I had to go into work the next day.
As this year comes to a close, I have come to the realization that although parts of 2016 totally sucked. Not all of it did. Before the promise of a new year rolls around, I wanted to take some time to reflect on what I learned from 2016. You better believe that my New Years Resolutions will include fun and fewer hospital stays than 2016 permitted!
To say I was a nervous wreck that first day in the hospital, is an understatement. I was so down and throwing myself a big ol' pity party...but that's not really my style. I promised myself that I would only focus on the positive. There are moments that I get totally discouraged and wonder why this happened. I know that it is a combination of many things. But I also know that I can't do anything about what happened except move forward, learn from it, inform others, and reach out to those around me to pay their kindness forward.
Early on, we made a conscious decision to change some words in our house. We always make sure to say our kids have "strong legs" that help them cartwheel, run, and kick. And we are especially careful about saying the "F" word- fat. That is a banned word in our house. I used to say it a lot, but as soon as we heard the kids say it, we realized that the word fat needed to be exiled from our home. It's not that I don't want them to know the word, but rather I don't want them to associate themselves with the word.